How Much of a Virtue Can Patience Be?

I asked my husband what i should write about today and he came up blank. I almost cried. Was I that too much of a mystery to my husband for him to suggest a topic that I can write about? Or worse, he's just not that in to me.

I have written for a few webmasters about book reviews, cell phone reviews, bling reviews, beauty product reviews (all for a few extra bucks) and well its not a secret that writing is one of my passions. So when I asked the one person who was supposed to know more about me than any other person in this world for advise, and came up blank, well it was mostly disturbing. Let me tell you, i was ready for a good heaping of argument.

And then, after a heartbeat, he suddenly asked "Why not write about the amount of patience and understanding we're extending to each other in this time of crisis?" I came up blank again..was he serious? And then I looked into his eyes, tired and a bit sad and wispy...with a wee bit of hardpressed laughter indicated only by the little twinkle in his eyes. I knew then that my husband knew me enough to know that as of this moment, more than anything else, I want to share our hardships to the few who'd come across this post.

My mother always tells me to be patient. (Mag pa sensya ka.) We have this Filipino saying "Habaan mo ang pisi" (lengthen the thread) which basically means you have to extend what ever needs and can be extended. In my case, I need to lengthen the thread of my patience towards my husband, in this relationship, during our time of trial. My mother always tells me, when it feels like you cannot be patient anymore, that's the time that you have to force yourself to be patient.

Practicing patience is never easy. There are times when it feels like I'm going to explode and this lava of irritation, angst, anxiety and frustration would bubble over. There were times in the past when we would argue so much and say hurtful words to each other only to be consoled by our mutual silence afterwards. It left a great painful chasm in my chest. It left me feeling alone and defeated.

As time passed by, I knew we couldn't always live like this. Fight like there's no tomorrow and leave it alone to rot in our souls. Eventhough I cannot change the past, I know the future for both of us is a long way coming and its going to be long unknown road for both of us to travel. I know that if we are ever going to survive that journey, I have to always be wee bit more patient. I know that my husband knows this too. I know that he realizes we both have to work in this relationship for it to be successful.

We weren't blessed with lots of riches, but we were blessed with good intelligent minds, sound judgement and sturdy souls. Enough to let us live this life to the fullest. There will be more bumps in the road, hurdles to overcome. My patience to my husband will always be tested, but I think I'm ready.