Gone on an emotional hybernation

To anyone who is reading my blog, you've of course noticed by now that I have been writing any posts at all. To any self respecting blogger, it is a must that you post something on your blog once in a while but, I guess you could say Im still on an emotional hybernation. More like physical if you analyze things with me actually, haha!

You can say I've lost inspiration, motivation, cultivation, dramatization, any -tion you can think about. I mean what is it that really makes me tick? I keep telling myself if only I have that or if only I can do that or if only I have the means to this end, etc etc. But the truth of the matter is, my emotional spark ran out. Is there anywhere I can buy fuel from?

I can tell you that I used to read up novels (pocketbooks) like a sponge absorbs water. I can tell yuo that I used to believe that I really am good at baking and cooking. There was a time when I believe that I can do all the things I want to do. There was a time when ideas were seeping in through the deepest recesses of my brain and come out if not the nicest, then definitely a nice piece of literature, from poems to short stories, to narratives, to essays.

There was a time when I believed in myself to be everything that I can be.

NOW?.. You can say I got side tracked. Life trully is never easy and its definitely not about the destination but all about the journey. You got this one solid goal in your mind but for some reason, the road does not seem to converge on that same goal. It's like imagining what your destination looks like and pinning that in your mind and all of a sudden, the twists and turns of the road does not look anywhere near how the destination should look like.

I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am a worker..but before all of those things, I am me. I am myself and I used to believe in myself. I used to believe that I dont have to look before I leap. I used to believe that I dont have to rely on anybody to catch me when I fall. Because I can catch my self just fine thank you.

NOW?..well now, well now then has become a different story. Am I whining? You can say, I dont like keeping my dreams tucked away just yet. But then again, what choice do I have? Well now...I leave it up to you the reader, to tell me if I shouldnt be on this hybernation. Then again, who reads my blog?